Humble Confidence

False humility is a nice thought but it misses the ultimate point. You know it when you hear it. I appreciate the comments of that approach actually, because it's better than arrogance which is usually what the individual is protecting against. But still, it never sounds quite right because you KNOW the person doesn't believe what they are saying about themselves. They just know they'd rather sound humble vs cocky. I appreciate that about them.

But in truth, we're not told to bring our false sense of self to the table. This isn't humility. On the contrary, the highest since of humility is to take everything that you are, all of your strengths, every bit of your sense of self and stand as tall as you possibly can. When you do so, then you measure yourself against the standard of Christ and the standard of a Holy, Perfect, All powerful God, you understand that at your very best, you fall woefully short of the goal. See Al Roker above. You cannot live up even at your finest hour, no matter how perfect your posture.

When we attempt this, we gain understanding and appreciation for the price that was paid for our souls.

And yet, we are called to go confidently into our calling, into our roles in life. How can this be resolved?

Our confidence, does not come from our abilities, but from the truth that all power, strength, understanding, wisdom and direction is with us every step of the way...IF we choose to step into it. It is a gift and the God of the universe says we should be confident because he is with us and his will will prevail in us. So go. Go well. Go with confidence, not in yourselves but in whose you are and who you've been created to be. Live out your calling and be in step with the Spirit.

Accept the fact that at your best, you will never be anywhere close to what you should be. Press forward anyhow because he who calls you is faithful and become who you were born to be.

Destination

We are in the river of life. The river is moving and if you're just floating along, it WILL take you where it wants to go. You'll be floating by the banks with the natural flow of the water. This is perfect if you know where it's taking you and if you are wanting to wind up in that location.

But, what if you're not sure where it takes you and what if you want something else?

Set out in the direction that you intend to go. Andy Stanley says " Too often people get themselves into undesirable situations and wonder, "How did I get here?"

He goes on to say:
"Stanley: As a pastor I’ve spent 30 years talking to people and heard every kind of story imaginable. Often times when people tell their story they conclude by saying, “I don’t know how I got to where I am.” Sometimes it’s financially, sometimes it’s relationally, sometimes it’s with their marriage, their kids, their parents, academically, professionally, whatever. So they ask, “How in the world that I end up here?”

And as I listen to their story about half way through I think, “Well it is pretty obvious how you got here. This is the path you chose.” But for many of us there is a disconnect between where we intend to be and the path we choose, and the path that we choose in life - whether it is financially, relationally, morally - always trumps our intention. So people pray in one direction but they walk in a different direction, and direction always determines where we end up."

This makes sense to us if we were sailing across the Atlantic, but somehow when it comes to life, we'll ignore the fact that our choices have in large part led to our current location. If you're out on the ocean, you can look back across your journey and see how you're previous direction created your current path.

Where do you want to be?

Look out in into next year. What do you hope happens in your life? What do you want to experience or accomplish?

In five years, 2015 will be coming to a close. How old will you be? How old will those around you be (kids, friends etc)? Put yourself in that time and realize this, assuming you're still on this earth, the next five years will happen either way. You might as well be intentional about it. "Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity"

I know most guys, struggle consistently with career. As you look out, where do you want your career to be, what do you want to be doing? To go that path, what is required, what is needed and are you taking the steps that lead in that direction?

As you set out on a new direction, watch out for yourself. We don't believe. We doubt. We fear. We are insecure. We initially enjoy comfort over adventure. "But, what if I fail?" "What if it doesn't work?" "What if they say NO to me?" "Our greatest foes in which we must combat are chiefly within."

Think on what God is saying to you here. What has he called you to? Are your thoughts in line with the call and purpose of the scriptures? Go after wisdom and understanding in your direction. Seek wise informed counsel, what is their feedback to you? Be confident in what God has placed in your heart. You must believe his direction is with you, the spirit's power is on you and he will direct your path. It's the journey we are on, we set out with Him in mind and He will call and move on our behalf.

So, take that class. Wake up early. Make that call. Get the training. Learn to cook, learn to dance, spend that time with your kids...Get after it. You'll be five years down the road with or without "that" ability or experience, you might as well be purposeful about it.

Set your compass, make your direction and start moving now, against the flow...this will be your way.

Don't Be Him

Don't be him.

Don't be her.

Your best when you're you.

You've heard this and you have this thought in your mind. But, like most people, you don't know this deep in your soul. Our society values certain gifts over others and this creates envy, jealousy, doubt and insecurity. Those on the stage are held high, honored, revered, celebrated and adored. Those on the floor, those in the arena preparing, those organizing are less valued by most. They are not discounted intentionally, but they are discounted nonetheless.

I had a conversation with an older doctor, close to retirement, who was thinking about what to do next for impact utilizing his gifts and passions. In his search for what's next for himself, he couldn't get past wanting a life and idolizing a famous pastor. This gentleman was given constant praise by his coworkers, by his staff and by his clients. The job that he did touched and saved many lives over decades of work. In his mind, his work was less important somehow. To himself, his impact, though different, was not as critical.

The sad part of this was his lack of contentment in his work, the way God made him. He looked out because he wanted to be "Him". This is a human problem, not just for men. Ladies have their struggles, wanting to be "Her" and thereby being insecure with who they are.

Lance Armstrong describes his experiences growing up in Texas where football and baseball (the traditional sports) were king. For him to go his own way, to follow his own path, he had to withstand certain amounts of ridicule or at least, underappreciation for his efforts vs his counterparts in other sports.

Scriptures say, like the body has its members, so the body of Christ has its members and we need each one to do their work, to the best of their ability in order to work in unity with one another. Don't allow the success and strengths of others to make you doubt yourself and your path. Your path and road will be different and unique. Follow yours. Seek yours and "become" who you were born to be.

You Don't Understand

You don't understand. You don't see it now and you may never get it.

Much like an iceberg above the water, more is always, almost always going on beyond what you know or see. So ease up with the quick judgments. Life's probably not as simple and clean as you would prefer. It's okay though. Others have a story and so do you. You deserve some slack so that others can understand where've you been prior to tossing you out without giving you a chance.

God is a God of second chances. He redeems. That's his business. He takes the broken and he heals them. He takes the disadvantaged, the orphan, the widow and the poor into his arms. He knows how he made us and he remembers we are made of dust. And yet...he comes after us with the adoptive love that has nothing to do with our "goodness".

His love covers us. I'm grateful for that. I have a story. I have a story beyond that isn't as clean as I might like. You do too. That's okay, he's there with us, in our mess, in our questions, in our confusion and even anger. His love is bigger than all our successes, failures, pain and celebrations. Receive his grace and give grace too.

Energy

Sometimes, the energy just leaves. Life is going, your getting by and simply trying to survive. The routine is the focus. Waking up, running out the door on time and making sure gas is in the car becomes the morning ritual. Your stuck. You know there is a better way, a higher life, but you can't see it and you definitely can't feel it.

Then inspiration hits. Inspiration brings clarity. You feel the lift, you see what needs to be done and how you should live. The sky opens up and breathing returns.

I want to hit pause in those moments, not because I want to live in them forever, though that would be nice. I want to capture the clarity of the instruction of the inspiration ... how then should I live, what then should I do, these moments set my priorities in a way that I cannot deny the truth they contain.

The energy of the moments of inspiration and the purity they bring with them should inspire us to live the life we know to live. Let's go and live with gusto, with energy and yes, with inspiration.

Life is Short

Stating the often unnoticed, underappreciated aspect of this life. It is short. Time with our children is passing quickly. Moments to capture with intention, say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, can easily slip away. Just know this, our life is like a vapor, like a mist that appears in the morning and quickly fades. May we take ahold of everyday, may we pay attention to those who love us, to our God, to our world that needs mission. Think about what matters. Consider what your life is about. What roles and commitments do you want to be known by, live up to, stand in the gap for?

Countdown. Number your days. They are going by...slipping all the time and yet we can capture them. Carpe Diem.Go forward likewise...for Life is Short.

Full Circle

When I was dating Lisa, we were with her family one summer Saturday afternoon, on the lake, enjoying the water out riding in the boat and having a splendid time. It was one of those relaxing days out in the sun that we rarely experience not having a family lake house or our own boat. We probably were a couple of years into our relationship and we felt strongly about our potential together.

Lisa had a cousin that had a little baby girl, Madison. Madison was 2 or 3 at the time. We were in the front of the boat, riding the waves on a wonderful day. Something happened there, one of those precious moments that was so perfect, I'm sure I would have orchestrated if I knew the implications of it. Not sure exactly how it came together, but Madison through crying or other measures wound up in my arms. I'm sitting on the front of the boat with the wind flowing by, holding little Madison in my arms, just enjoying the ride. Lisa looks over and later tells me, when she saw this encounter, she knew I was going to be the husband and the father of her children. Powerful.

We were so impacted by that experience and connection with Madison, that it was strong in the running for the name of our firstborn. We wound up not selecting it, but it was a close second and in the serious running til the end.

Fast forward to two Fridays ago, we're without our oldest two, just on the lake with Ari. We're usually at the lake only during my company's summer event and this was it. There we found ourselves, on the front of the boat, my holding Ari with her head resting upon my chest and Lisa beside me. Lisa looked over and we were both aware, this was a full circle moment, tying together the almost two decades that passed by since she decided I would be her man, concreted by this previous moment with Madison. Now here we were, with our own 2 year old and Ari was sitting with me, trusting me that I would protect her and take care of her.

It is not an everyday occurence and I think it's better this way. May we always recognize these precious moments that are apart of our story, who we are and where we've been. Be sure to grab ahold of these times that signify the beauty that ties our history to the present, it's incredible when we experience life coming full circle.

The Best Email Instructions

One day, I will give these instructions ... (post Retirement, or at least being Financially Independent). This is hilarious though and I am impressed with the candor of Nassim Taleb.

You are welcome to send me a very brief email at gamma [at] fooledbyrandomness [dotcom]. You would do me a favor if you waited a while as I am not in an online mode and have 1500 neglected letters in my inbox (so please just send mail for pressing matters). Concise messages are much preferable (say a maximum < 40 words) as I will not be able to read long letters. Please do not 1) send me your papers or other “interesting material” to read, 2) ask finance questions (not my specialty, 3) make me to rewrite sections of my books (I write books, not emails), 4) ask for a list of “other interesting books to read”, 5) ask me to provide career or educational advice, 6) send me passages from Tolstoy or the Ecclesiast on luck and randomness, 7) send me the list of typos in my drafts. Note that I almost always reply (but ONLY to short messages), time permitting (but once) –even to nasty emails. Finally, note that, thanks to my new keyboard, I sometimes reply in Arabic, particularly to academics.

[Also please please refrain from offering to “improve” my web site].

www.fooledbyrandomness.com

View of God

Good things, beautiful things ... ugly, messy, wonderful, ordinary, blah, down, up, encouraging, depressing. These are the stages of life. Each one will occur to everyone. We know this. We look around the world and if we look close enough, we can find each one taking place.

Good times are so wonderful. I saw a post yesterday by a former UGA defensive player, "Going on vacation with my family today. I'm so glad that for the first time in my life, I won't have to worry about money. God is good." That was cool. A young man with grew up among the poor in our society and was able to rise into wealth through his athletic skill. I know enough about him to be very proud for him and of him. He's always carried himself with grace and with a love for God. But I wonder, is God good regardless?

Matt Redman's song, "Blessed Be The Name" of the Lord", says that He gives and takes away, "he gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Blessed be the name, of the Lord." Is our faith circumstantial? When the tough times come, and they will come, are we prepared to abandon our God? Is ours, the first situation in which a human, a person (i.e. Not God), had a difficult circumstance occur? All of a sudden, because of our difficult situation (a sickness, a death, an accident, Katrina, Oil Spill, Haiti, wars in Uganda, real estate market crash, cancer) God has changed? Therefore good circumstance = good God. Bad circumstance = bad God, how could you do this God, I can't follow a God that would allow this ____, God must not be a loving God if he allows this to occur.

All of this does not take away from the pain, the hurt and the devastation. But we need to determine our view of God. Is he good or isn't he? If he is, the scriptures say the he is unchanging, he is forever the same, forever good. In Matthew, Jesus says, "If you then, though you are sinful, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more does our Father in heaven desire to give good gifts to the children of God? (paraphrase)? If we have any good in our desires, how much more our perfect and loving God.

Then what is going on, why does bad and wrong occur? Often it is said, that when someone is going through a difficult time, they need someone to rely on, they don't need someone that knows all the answers. I definitely don't know all of the answers. But I am writing this now, because I've encountered more than anyone looking from the outside at me would ever guess. They'll never admit it because saying to others, you have no idea, you've never been through X is easier, pity party for one please. Truth is, we all experience shxt. It is a messy world. We tease ourselves when we believe it is just us, we are all alone.

Whenever terrible times occur, it has been very helpful for me to remember this fact, There are plenty of examples now and in our history, of individuals that experienced WORSE situations than mine and yet, they handled them with more STRENGTH and more GRACE. Re-read that. Worse situations have been handled Better. The holocaust was pretty bad. Nelson Mandela in appartheid went through some mess, the apostles being beaten to the point of death, the apostles experiencing death, oh and Jesus of Nazareth. Believe me, you are not alone. God gets it. He understands and he is with you...this is our God. He is hurting with you, alongside you, even when you're cursing him out. He understands that too.

One of the things I know about my God, he knows a bit more than I do. I can't figure out how 7 different personalities at work, plus our CEO and management team are going to land on two decisions facing us right now. In the context of the world and universe, I know very little. My God knows though. After nine-eleven, PBS ran a special "God and 911". It was interesting to see who came closer to God and who was driven away. Those who were driven away had a view of God that apparently didn't include his allowing a terrorist attack. I wonder what else their view of God doesn't allow. What else would have happened that would have meant their abandoning their love of Christ.

Maybe this helps, following God doesn't mean things are going to be blessed (from a human perspective) all the time. Things are going to be horrible, the scripture promises this. Bad things are going to happen regardless. If you're following God because you don't want bad things to happen, it may be time to follow something else. Build a bubble maybe.

I am not being flippant. Emotions are real experiences. Emotions and reactions to difficult situation with hurt and sorrow and even despair are often right. I just submit to you that God is with you, not against you. However he is moving, he is allowing the brokeness of the world to be broken much of the time. But he also allows beauty. He brings beauty. He wants us to engage him in seeing and creating the beauty by living love in our homes, workplaces, communities.

His mind is bigger than our mind, and this is not a copout. If there is a God, and I wholly believe there is, he is going to know everything and my mind will not be able to comprehend much of it. Like a 6 month old to C.S. Lewis, could it be that the gap between our understanding and God's is even greater? Probably. Actually, most definitely. I need to be careful about making these kinds of statements, but I don't want to follow a God who doesn't have a greater understanding than I. God is omniscient. He is BIG. He is Good. This I know, thought I don't always understand.

I therefore appreciate the mystery of God. Sovereignty vs Free Will ... where does one end and the other begin? Who knows. My God is sovereign and nothing happens without his okay, without his acceptance and will. Yet, I know my foolishness has consequences. Living in a broken world assures me that brokenness will occur. Death occurs. Disease, poverty, divorce, laziness, depression, hunger all occur. My God is still good. Scripture has much to say about his love for the disadvantaged, for the hurting. Psalm 34 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he saves those who are crushed in spirit." Isaiah 1:17, "Learn to do what is right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the fatherless and plead the case of the widow." God cares. He is with those who hurt. He opposes the proud.

I know a list is the worst in direct conversation during suffering, so I give you my thoughts now. Here is my understanding of why bad occurs:
1) I bring a lot of consequences on myself through foolishness, being too simple minded, through sin. Take a look at Proverbs and in 31 days, you'll see how much mess comes from our choices.
2) Living in a broken world. Others will sin, and sometimes others sin affects my life. We are interconnected more than then post-modern will have you believe. Our choices affect others. Others choices affect me. Drunk drivers in a wreck often affect many lives.
3) Living in a broken world. The world itself is broken, natural disasters, fires, hurricanes, earthquakes and more will occur. Disease will occur, sometimes to me, sometimes to those I love.

This world is a mix of beauty and mess. Don't miss the beauty while experiencing the mess. The love of those around you. The love of your God. Hold close to his word for he says he's moving on your behalf, for those who love him, he is not surprised. Your good will come out of whatever it is. Live with honor, through the good and bad. You may or may not see how he is moving on your behalf. He doesn't promise us all knowledge now, but, one day you will.

Our God is BIG. Our God is GOOD. Take your hurt to him and allow others in enough to show you the beauty of the Body of Christ at work.

Living By Influence

Patterns are everywhere, I am fascinated by them.

One of the greatest forces (and patters) in the world is the influence of our peers and our environment. There is an indirect power of boundaries, expectations and culture that is passed through those individuals and groups with whom we associate. They shape us.

This can be a huge benefit in life. Through careful selection, those around us can make us better, pull us forward in directions we need to go through their influence. "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future." "Keeping up with the Joneses," isn't restricted to financial decisions. Go to any public event where thousands are around and you'll immediately spot the individuals who have been friends long enough to dress the same and look the same. Habits form. Mannerisms and sayings are repeated and engrained. A new language often develops. I look at those close to me, much of this is true.

This then is our quandry. We live in a world of pop culture, short-term thinking, soft perspectives to work and often low expectations of each other. I just started reading The First Tycoon, about Cornelius Vanderbilt by TJ Stiles. This quote by Mark Twain sums up our Pop fascination as well now, as it did then...written to C.Vanderbilt, " You seem to be the idol of ... a crawling swarm of small souls who ... sing of your unimportant private habits and sayings and doings, as if your $ millions gave them dignity."

If we live in this difficult environment for perspective, if the quote by Mark Twain is similar to our culture's focus, if the short-term is the normal mindset, if we are trying to live out wisdom (inspite of our failures), how are we to find and evaluate, "How then shall we live?". Living by the impressions of others give us wisdom but can also provide us with false expectations and influence that we need to shed to live out our calling.

On the journey of gaining perspective, the movie The Matrix provides much insight. In this setting, the world is living in what is a false reality, carrying on by rules and code set by others. It was easy, fun and seemingly better to be living in the false reality (doing things that had no lasting value) versus living in the real world (with the difficulties it contained). This was best summed up by Cypher,

"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak]
Ignorance is bliss"

It's easy to live by the T.V.

It's easy to waste time on things that don't last and don't really matter.

It's easy to want to be apart of conversations therefore we change our habits.

It's natural to live by the constructs of others.

It's natural to think that my appearance matters more than my character and discipline.

What car do I drive, What house do I live in, What school do my children attend, Where do I vacation? These are questions I allow my surroundings to impose upon my life. Some are valid and some are taken too far, with expectations that do not help my mission.

Comfort and ease are our enemies. The natural state of the world is a river gently taking us in its direction. "I have always had a dread of becoming a passenger in life." - Denmark's Queen Margrete II

It takes effort, to consider a higher way. How best to live? What am I called to do? How should we prepare our children? What is truly important in life? What will I care about in 30 years vs next week?

I was talking about raising children with a friend recently. I was pointing out patterns of the past and he replied, "But that was a different time." We didn't get a chance to finish the conversations but, yes, it was different. It is worth visiting and considering how things have been done in the past 10 thousand years at various points in time, maybe our way today, is not the best way. Maybe it is. Let us consider it though, let us intentionally consider the options and select our way because we decided to, not because it was it is the recently popular way.

There is influence we need to pay attention to because it is right. There are other influences that you will have to choose to avoid, because you are choosing a different path. "I don't know all of the reasons for success, but I do know one of the key reasons for failure, Try to make everyone happy"

"People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be." --Harvey Mackay. May we be thoughtful in the direction we choose.