Living By Influence

Patterns are everywhere, I am fascinated by them.

One of the greatest forces (and patters) in the world is the influence of our peers and our environment. There is an indirect power of boundaries, expectations and culture that is passed through those individuals and groups with whom we associate. They shape us.

This can be a huge benefit in life. Through careful selection, those around us can make us better, pull us forward in directions we need to go through their influence. "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future." "Keeping up with the Joneses," isn't restricted to financial decisions. Go to any public event where thousands are around and you'll immediately spot the individuals who have been friends long enough to dress the same and look the same. Habits form. Mannerisms and sayings are repeated and engrained. A new language often develops. I look at those close to me, much of this is true.

This then is our quandry. We live in a world of pop culture, short-term thinking, soft perspectives to work and often low expectations of each other. I just started reading The First Tycoon, about Cornelius Vanderbilt by TJ Stiles. This quote by Mark Twain sums up our Pop fascination as well now, as it did then...written to C.Vanderbilt, " You seem to be the idol of ... a crawling swarm of small souls who ... sing of your unimportant private habits and sayings and doings, as if your $ millions gave them dignity."

If we live in this difficult environment for perspective, if the quote by Mark Twain is similar to our culture's focus, if the short-term is the normal mindset, if we are trying to live out wisdom (inspite of our failures), how are we to find and evaluate, "How then shall we live?". Living by the impressions of others give us wisdom but can also provide us with false expectations and influence that we need to shed to live out our calling.

On the journey of gaining perspective, the movie The Matrix provides much insight. In this setting, the world is living in what is a false reality, carrying on by rules and code set by others. It was easy, fun and seemingly better to be living in the false reality (doing things that had no lasting value) versus living in the real world (with the difficulties it contained). This was best summed up by Cypher,

"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak]
Ignorance is bliss"

It's easy to live by the T.V.

It's easy to waste time on things that don't last and don't really matter.

It's easy to want to be apart of conversations therefore we change our habits.

It's natural to live by the constructs of others.

It's natural to think that my appearance matters more than my character and discipline.

What car do I drive, What house do I live in, What school do my children attend, Where do I vacation? These are questions I allow my surroundings to impose upon my life. Some are valid and some are taken too far, with expectations that do not help my mission.

Comfort and ease are our enemies. The natural state of the world is a river gently taking us in its direction. "I have always had a dread of becoming a passenger in life." - Denmark's Queen Margrete II

It takes effort, to consider a higher way. How best to live? What am I called to do? How should we prepare our children? What is truly important in life? What will I care about in 30 years vs next week?

I was talking about raising children with a friend recently. I was pointing out patterns of the past and he replied, "But that was a different time." We didn't get a chance to finish the conversations but, yes, it was different. It is worth visiting and considering how things have been done in the past 10 thousand years at various points in time, maybe our way today, is not the best way. Maybe it is. Let us consider it though, let us intentionally consider the options and select our way because we decided to, not because it was it is the recently popular way.

There is influence we need to pay attention to because it is right. There are other influences that you will have to choose to avoid, because you are choosing a different path. "I don't know all of the reasons for success, but I do know one of the key reasons for failure, Try to make everyone happy"

"People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be." --Harvey Mackay. May we be thoughtful in the direction we choose.